In the past year, it seems like there has not been a month that has gone by where someone hasn’t popped up in my Facebook newsfeed with a newly changed status to “engaged”, or “married to______________” with an accompanying picture of a left hand flexing a sparkly rock, and the cliché tagline “I said yes!!!” underneath (when I get engaged, please remind me to think of a more clever way to announce it).
Love is in the air full force, and as beautiful as the whirlwind of rainbows, flower fields, and Carebears is, for those of us who are single, there is no way to escape it. As our girls get “wifed up” or guys get the ball and chain(ed up), we get asked to participate in their nuptials and receive invites galore. As a matter of fact, as I sit here writing this, my frig is tatted with multiple save the dates for this year alone…thanks so much for the magnets my friends!
Listen, I’m not bitter about my current relationship status. And if you’re wondering what it is, I plead the fifth:
I just felt like writing this post because 1) I feel like in the midst of people advertising their cute relationship happenings, trips, and selfies, us single people get looked at as being ones to feel sorry for, which is simply not the case. And 2) Just last week, someone asked me if I had a choice, which would I prefer, to be single or in a relationship?
I had to ponder about it for a minute. While I’d love to be in a relationship that enhances my life, being single is pretty damn fun. So I came to the conclusion that there were trade-offs to both…….But eff the trade offs! They can be boxed up and saved for another post. This post, is for all the single ladies (allll the single ladies..) AND MEN who are rolling solo dolo– to reassure you all that we still got it going on. Here I present to you the 16 benefits to being single.
- Can go partying with your friends, get
irresponsibly wasted (okay I kid, everything in moderation kids) and come home at 4am. Every night you go out with your friends, there are limitless possibilities for adventure since you never know who you will meet.
- Don’t have to worry about “checking in” or having a “curfew” (um really doe….what IS that?? aint nobody got time fah dat)
- Can spontaneously book a trip to Europe tomorrow and do the whole deep spiritual “Eat, Pray, Love” thing and “find yourself”. OR you can go to Cancun with your girls, or DR with your boys and find somebody else to get your groove back with, without dealing with side-eyes, and 20 questions.
- Don’t have to worry about an insecure mate checking your phone, email, Facebook and drilling you about an Instagram comment you made…and if you’re the insecure one you….
- Don’t have to social media stalk to keep tabs on your unsuspecting boo.
- Can decide to go back to school, change jobs, relocate, and make other life changing decisions without having to think twice about how it will create a long distance relationship or affect the life of another.
- Have the freedom to flirtationships/date/have “sexual relations” with anyone you want at any given time, with no guilt or restrictions (um please just wrap it up). Or you can have the freedom to do none of the three with no pressure
- Don’t have to worry about the dramatic ish relationships have the potential to bring into your life such as: a broken heart, emotional arguments, or the hurt from break ups. Because hey, you’re dating yourself.
- Have your bed to yourself (minus the opposite sex sleepovers). There is no “your side of the bed”
*cue in Trey Songz*because ALL sides are yours you greedy snitch! This pic pretty much sums up my sleeping habits…yeah I sleep in the peacekeeping buffer zone and what??This not only means you can sprawl out, but also that you’ll always have enough cover and/or pillows, and don’t have to deal with cold feet touching your legs, snoring, uncomfortable spooning positions, finding yourself pushed to the edge of the bed every morning, and someone else’s dragon morning breath being blown in your face on every exhale
- Get time to be comfortable with yourself, fix your flaws, up your gym flow and get that dream body, get rid of baggage from dealing with past trifling people, learn how to be Chef Boyardee/Rachael Ray in the kitchen, and mold yourself to the way you want to be without an audience… so that when a new possible mate comes into your life, you’re ready and you are someone that you can be proud of.
- Don’t have any added pressure to keep appearances up at all times. There will be times you don’t shave, or have a haircut, or your nails did and no one can say anything about it……or on the flip side, you
- Are always on point with your looks. You’re single, so you never know when you may run into a cutie or someone of potential. With that said, you’re waaayyy less likely to let yourself go like some people do when they get comfortable being with someone.
- $ave money! You have no one to buy a Valentine’s Day, birthday, anniversary, or Christmas gift for, nor do you have to stress about topping whatever gift you gave the year prior. Yes, it’s a trade off, because you probably end up spending your coins going out parlaying with your crew every weekend –but hey, think of it as an investment in yourself.
- Can be as selfish as you want with your free time, your weekends, and how many hours you watch back to back football games on Sunday (plus the same sportscenter highlights 500+ times) or hours spent investing into your passion, or shopping
for yourselfwithout feeling one ounce of guilt.
- Don’t have to deal with temptation/homewreckers trying to infiltrate your relationship. You know how when you become off the market, it seems like all of a sudden you attract more people of the opposite sex like you have a friggin sign on your forehead saying “I’m single”? OR all of a sudden opposite sex friends who never paid you any mind before, come out the woodwork professing their love for you? Let’s not mention how many trifling women flock to men when they see them wearing a wedding band. You know people always want what they can’t have. Temptations always come during the time you’re unable to capitalize on them.
- Can leave your romantic situation without a hitch. People evolve, grow, and change (sometimes for the worse), which directly affects relationships. If you’re dealing with someone on a romantic level, it’s much easier to let them go knowing that you have no obligation to stay and try and make it work. You don’t have to try and make a square peg fit into a round hole
pause. You can go on your merry way and find the one who’s truly for you.
I never knew being single had benefits. Being with the right partner is the only way to have benefits. Freedom, not having to explain yourself to ppl, having sex with whoever you want. Those are not benefits. Benefits are someone that will be there for you, fuck you like a porn start, grow with you and help you build a future. Thats the benefit only a real woman can do. But she will only do it for her man. Single is wack. I need some benefits. Lol
Well everything has a benefit, it just depends on where you are in your life and where you actually want to be. You sound like you want a relationship, (as many single people do). That’s kind of why I wrote this, for all the people who are currently unattached that can look at their status from a glass half full aspect. And you’re right, relationships have several benefits but ONLY if you are in a good one. Thank you so much for reading!