Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of talk on social media about the difference between chivalry and thirst. One claim in particular that I’ve been seeing online has gotten me a little up in arms if you will. It is:
“Chivalry died when females started calling it thirst.”
I can imagine the silent applaudes from the men in agreement, and the eye rolls from the women.
MAJOR eyerolls from this girl…
But to the guys… I’m going to have to point out how completely false this is…sorry (not sorry). And false on two major levels might I add.
Firstly, lets get this all the way straight. I don’t know if anyone realizes this, but this statement is formulated like so many others when it comes to shortcomings women have to subject themselves to within relationships and dating. It completely places the responsibility on women for men’s actions (or lack thereof). It’s like this statement is saying “well men would still hold doors open for you if you women didn’t call them out as thirsty for doing so.”
Dafuq…..Really? Are we really going to blame women for those men who don’t act like they have home training? Are we going to blame women for certain men choosing not to be gentlemanly? Don’t even get me started. I.really.can’t.
All I know is that the entire female population cannot be held at fault for the death or lack of something that men have been responsible for doing for centuries, and perpetuating in the first place.
This brings me to my 2nd point: The term “thirst” is used in a completely different context than “chivalry”, so to me there are more noticeable differences than not between the two. While the term “chivalry” is most commonly used to describe a man’s behavior towards a woman, the term “thirst” can be used universally for both genders. A man can be thirsty just like a woman can be. So with that said, women aren’t the only ones who use the term.
“Thirst” is used to describe anyone who shows desperation for the attention or approval of someone who
they usually know has no interest in them. Please keep the italicized words in mind, because THIS is the distinct difference between the two. And for the first time in LIFE, I completely agree with Urban Dictionary’s definition of it found here (on point #3).
Chivalry on the other hand, is simply a term used to describe the gentlemanly actions from a MAN (key word) to another –anyone really, whether they like or know the person in a romantic way or not. According to thefreedictionary.com, two good definitions listed are
- the combination of qualities expected of a knight, including courage, generosity, and courtesy.
- courteous behaviour, esp towards women
Either the female is the delusional one, meaning: she is the one who has never had the fortune of being treated like a lady, therefore she mistakes every man doing something nice for her as them being head over heels for her…
the man is the delusional one, meaning: he can’t take the obvious signs a female is throwing at him, whether it be her TELLING him she clearly wants nothing more than a friendship with him, or the blatant non-reciprocation of his actions. At the point where a man has been notified of where he stands with a female, it is his choice to continue to shower her with attention treating her like she is his #1 draft pick risking being called THIRSTY, or to move dafuq on. (And since I’ve stated that thirst can come from both genders, please believe ladies you need to move dafuq on too if you find yourself in this situation!)
So class, would you like a few examples of when someone is thirsty and when someone is being chivalrous? No? Good I’m giving them to you anyways:
CHIVALRY is when a man:
- calls a woman to ask her how her day was and to make plans to take her out
- pulls out chairs for a woman & holds open doors for a woman to walk through first
- walks on the street side of the sidewalk
- volunteers to carry a woman’s heavy belongings
- letting a woman (old, young, pregnant or not) sit in his seat when one isn’t available
- paying for a date
- is all around well mannered and considerate, not necessarily for personal gain, but just because that’s who he is
THIRST is when anyone continuously does things for a person who has made it known that mutual interest isn’t present. These things include but are not limited to
- excessive texting/calling without response from the other party
- showering of gifts
- continuously attempting to make plans with someone without success
- overly doting on someone (who doesn’t give them the time of day) for all intentions of getting with them
And for any guy out there reading this who may not agree with me at this point, please believe a girl will never call a guy she is genuinely interested in “thirsty”. Just like you would most likely not say the same for any girl you’re swooning over. When mutual feelings are in place, the “thirst” then becomes mutual, cancelling that term out of the equation completely.
I agree that chivalry is not dead….can we say that it’s on life support though? (I kid, I kid.)
I can’t speak for all people of any demographic, but I feel the “game” itself has changed from 20-30 years ago. People nowadays seem to be all about instant gratification and “what can you do for me NOW!” instead of working together to build something together from the ground up. We are quick to dismiss folks for whatever they don’t have instead of giving them a second (or a 14th) look for what they do have. (I am guilty of this one at times as well.)
But I definitely agree on the difference between chivalry and thirst. One thing I’m VERY good at (too good, in fact) is knowing when to hit that eject button and keep it pushing.
You are most definitely right J, it IS on life support! And I know what you mean by the dismissing..we always want to know if someone is right for us from jump so that we don’t waste time. Our generation really has issues!
I agree, but would like to caution:
Mike can you finish your comment? I can’t see the rest of what you wrote.