DISCLAIMER: ALL TEXTS FEATURED IN THIS POST ARE REAL CONVERSATIONS I’VE HAD….UNFORTUNATELY
Nowadays it’s hard to get an attractive, respectable, intelligent, funny, ambitious, honest, fit, attentive guy who likes you just as much as you like him. Shoot, nowadays it’s hard to get any guy to ask you out on a LEGIT date (I’m not talking about “hanging out” at your apartment to watch movies on Netflix), let alone to call to you for an actual phone conversation. And it’s so unfortunate that in 2013, the phone is barely used for what it was initially created for, especially when it comes to the male race. A lot (not all) of men are too
lazy scared to have phone conversations, and as a result let their texts speak for them. And I’m sure you guys are thinking “why can’t the girl call?” But if you’ve initiated getting a girl’s number, then it only makes sense for you to initiate the first phone call. Keep it consistent.
For all the ladies who are dating, I know you feel me…. it’s tough out here in these streets. And for you distinguished gentlemen who choose the easy way out of communicating by always texting and never calling, this post is for you. I’ve compiled my personal list of texting DONT’S for you guys- from most tolerable to least liked (Keep in mind, I am speaking only for myself, and these are my dislikes. Not all women will share the same sentiment, but some may) If you are going to text, then you might as well do it right:
7. WYD? Um…don’t start out the conversation asking me what I’m doing. Call me crazy, but for some reason when a guy begins a text convo with this, I have this idea in my mind that he has sent this same text to multiple girls at the same time just to see who ‘s available. And keep your acronyms to a minimum. Not everyone knows what “WYWH” and “CTFU” mean.
6. Not Knowing When to Stop I placed this low on the list because this can be easily avoided by a female –let me explain. There have been times where I’ve given out my number without really wanting to, and I admit that’s wrong. So, when I find myself in a situation like this, I make sure never initiate a text, and do not text back just to give the guy the idea that I’m not interested. Unfortunately, these are usually the guys that can’t take a hint and keep on texting. Guys, please know that if you text a girl over the course of a couple of days like this:
(okay so this is more than a couple days)
and she never texts you back, please give up. She’s doesn’t need a “last call” for anything. She’s letting you down easy and doesn’t have the heart to say she’s not interested. This is her way of letting things taper off. I will take full responsibility and admit, it’s a sucker way to end everything before it begins. But fellas, once you realize this, it’s your responsibility to have some dignity and walk away. Never let a situation get to a “Last call”!! (this goes for everyone) Remember persistence is only admired when one admires you.
5. Excessive Lols It’s unnecessary lol to add a lol every few words lol because you are attempting to have a conversation lol with me that you may be uncomfortable with lol…like asking me out on a date perhaps? Not only is this hard to comprehend, it takes away from the conversation and is ANNOYING AS HELL. I’m not laughing out loud and honestly, neither the hell are you. Lol.
(cont’d) Excessive Emoticons/Punctuation/Emoji’s If you send more smiley faces than I do, or at the end of every sentence, I will never take you seriously 🙂 🙂 🙂 Just like you didn’t take me seriously with that last sentence……and this also goes for if you use too many damn exclamation points weirdo!!!!! And do guys really use emojis???
4. “Hey Beautiful” I dislike this…..I think it’s because every guy writes this a lot. So much so, that it’s cliche at this point. Can you call me something else please? Or hey, I’m honestly fine with you just calling me by my name….because sadly in the game of text, all the men before you have made “beautiful” a played out adjective. Seriously unfortunate, I know.
3. Excessive Slang/Misspelling There’s a fine line between shortening a word for texting purposes and just flat out spelling it wrong. Okay I admit, when I say “you’re” I usually write “ur” and that’s only because it’s annoying to find the apostrophe when sending a quick text. But if you are saying things like:
“o iight dats kool”
“Dey gunna go to dat?” (Yes, I have actually seen this before! ILL)
Then um don’t do it. I will think you’ve all of sudden copped a strong lower 9th Ward New Orleans accent (no offense to anyone who actually has one), or that you’re just choosing to write like you’ve never passed fifth grade. Either way I’m not into it, and most educated girls will agree with me on this. No one should ever need Urban Dictionary to decode your text.
2. No Response But Active on Instagram By the time you’ve texted me a few times there’s a possibility we’ve exchanged IG information and may be following each other. Don’t let me text you and not hear back from you only to discover 10 pics of your hourly activity in my feed. It’s not only just plain rude, it sends me the message that you’ve seen my text and have consciously made the decision to not reply to me. If you have time to give your “gymflow” pics #5million #hashtags #then #you #have #time #to #respond #to #me. And if you don’t, then you’ve let me know what’s important and I will keep that in mind next time you text me.
And the #1 issue I have is….
Getting to Know You Conversation I absolutely hate, I mean loathe, someone’s first text exchange with me to be a full out getting to know you conversation. Example:
Guy: Hey good morning beautiful!!!! 🙂
Girl: Good morning.
Guy: What r u up 2?
Girl: I’m at work.
Guy: Oh, where do you work???
Girl: XYZ Company
Guy: Oh cool!!! What do you do there?
Girl: XYZ Occupation
Guy: Oh that’s nice, do you like it????
Let’s halt right there. Do you honestly expect me to answer your questions and type them in on my phone? This isn’t a daggone job interview. Okay…..okay, honestly I can’t front. I have been foolish enough to be a participant of this in the past- indulging in text conversations with someone covering the span of a whole workday only to never have a real phone convo with them. But really, what is the purpose of getting a girl’s number if you have no plans (or courage) to call them? To me, in the beginning, the main purposes of texting are:
- checking in and making plans
- to make jokes/send funny pictures
- small talk (usually after the first date or outing has occurred. Once you’ve established a rapport with the other person, anything can go)
- to tell someone something time sensitive or pertinent if you are unable to call or see them
Got it guys? Good. Now go make your life easier and call the girl you’re interested in so you don’t have to worry about doing anything I’ve listed.
And if you’re interested, here’s some other things to avoid…
Don’t be arrogant
If I met you a long time ago, give it up….and no I don’t need to see your fake Top Model pics on the MTA bus as a reminder, lol…
If we’ve had a falling out and I don’t rock with you anymore, then I DON’T ROCK WITH YOU ANYMORE.
Don’t act like you did someone a favor by getting their number. And when in doubt, just call…
So I open this question to EVERYONE. What are your texting don’ts for the opposite sex?
people definitely call less and text more now than ever before. all i know is that if i like a girl, i will make sure that i call her, especially in the beginning. and if the phone call(s) goes well, i will then take her on a date. i thought that’s how all dudes did it but apparently not! lol but i think it boils down to what has worked for the dude in the past. if he’s been able to move forward with women off of texting/netflixing before then he’ll keep doing it. i like this post and i like that you included actual text convos you’ve had. they make this post even better.lol
Too bad not all dudes are like you Jay! I think the way you handle it is ideal. And you’re right, people will always do what’s worked for them in the past even if it isn’t the best way. Thanks for reading!
I’m honestly a TERRIBLE texter. When I’m corresponding with people and I don’t get back right away, I get the whole “why does it take you so long to respond?” shpiel. And I politely explain that I communicate way more efficiently and quickly by phone, and most people (if they aren’t complete morons) oblige. I feel your pain though. It’s all about finding a system that works!
It’s okay Shanell! Texting isn’t for everyone, but I know in this day and age–people like to use it as a means of communication way more than calling. And because of that phone calls are refreshing to me. People text so often I wonder why they havent brought the 2-way pager back…:-)