Part of me feels like I really have no business writing a post about body goals right now. Why you ask? Well it’s 2 minutes shy of 11am and I’m sitting here eating cookies (you know, the Just The Basics soft chocolate chip cookies from Duane Reade that are only a $1??-yeah those). But then another part of me is saying “It’s New Year’s Eve dammit! It’s your last hurrah, do whatever the heck you wanna do!” And so there you have it.

Please don’t judge me.

If you read my post here about my weird eating habits then maybe you wouldn’t. Especially if you read #25.

Sidenote: The truth is, as much as my eating habits are less than favorable, I haven’t had time to go grocery shopping since coming back from my trip to Cali a day ago, and the cookies were the easiest, most accessible thing I could come up with until I had a proper meal. But let’s keep it all the way 100- that’s not to say that if I had groceries, that I’d be up for making a proper meal. Nor is it to say that when I have gone grocery shopping, my eating habits all of a sudden transform for the better. Because if you were to ask me, my eating habits suck.

So I’ve declared that my ultimate fitness goal for 2015 is that I want to see my body at its maximum potential. Sure I want to get bootylicious, tone up, and enhance the curves I have (thanks to those years of ballet and track), but mainly I WANT ABS Y’ALL…

But I love carbs.

And I’m fully aware that in order for me to get these mystical defined stomach muscles I have only seen on other people, I need to apply the 70/30 rule (or 80/20 whatever). See, my problem isn’t working out. I love being active. And while I do have goals to expand my fitness regime to new things like hip hop and spinning classes in 2015, I’ve come to realize that working out will only be contributing to 20-30% of me getting these abs I speak of. And it’s a clear indicator that the biggest change will have to fall within my diet.

My diet…..

**please excuse me as I profusely sob into my carton of cake batter ice cream**

Meanwhile I’ve been following some of the most informative Instagram accounts of workout sites and trainers, double tapping their pics of their prep meals for the week, living vicariously through their fitness gains knowing damn well I couldn’t subject to eating the same 5 things everyday.

Is this what my life will become for 2015? Nothing but lean chicken, brown rice, green beans, sweet potatoes and hard boiled eggs???

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

And this is what my friends are going to be saying to me in a few days months when I’m at my breaking point.

I’m sorry, just had a mini melt down thinking of how my new grocery bill will be $75 for almond milk, asparagus and fish. But I’m back now.

I’ll admit, clean eating being far from cheap has been a deterrent for me. But they do say abs are made in the kitchen so you definitely get what you pay for. If that’s what takes to get the body I want, then so be it…right?… Is what I keep telling myself to stay strong.

My other fundamental problem has been that I’ve been relying too much on my high metabolism. I’ve been living my life like everyday is a cheat day and have been getting away with it for far too long. I can go to the gym and beast it out for over an hour and go straight to Popeye’s for a 2 piece meal with an extra biscuit and strawberry jam, without a care in the world or the slightest guilt, because I know that I can do it again the very next day (or not) without consequence. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I realize I’m that blessed, as not everyone has it like that.

But really, where is that getting me? I still long for abs…

Because let’s keep it real, me eating badly after a workout, is just as ludicrous as me going to McDonald’s and ordering a Diet Coke with my quarter pounder with cheese meal because I don’t “want the extra calories”. Or better yet doing a million crunches and ab workouts and having the audacity to wonder where my results are:

And while I’ve clearly failed to acknowledge that the most important benefit of eating clean will be that I will be healthier, it’s because I have to be honest with you: when it comes to this I’m shallow. This goal is purely driven from an aesthetic standpoint. Because if I get the flat stomach I asked Santa for this year and he failed to give me, not only would I be healthy, I’d also be able to wear a bikini without sucking in. I’d be able to wear a crop top to a party and do body rolls to “Body Party” like Ciara without having to worry about rolls.

…Oh a girl can dream!

Yeah I made a fitness goal for New Year’s. Call me cliche all you want. But let’s face it, I’d rather start now than the 35th of Nevuary.

 

And I’m not one for #gymflow pics…Before and Afters are more my speed. Let’s see how long I can keep this up. Feel free to visit my Instagram account for my before: intreegme